I'm inspired by a recent conversation with experienced parents about the travails of getting children to eat their vegetables -- complete with negotiations, hidden evidence, malingering ("my tummy hurts") and enlisting secret help from the dog -- to a resolution:
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*Unlike me. My parents didn't care what I ate. And now I'll eat anything from steak tartare to sushi to fried okra. But not boiled okra. That's just gross.
Tthere is no way, after hearing their struggles, that I'm going to struggle to cajole, argue, order, or force food into Liam's unwelcoming gullet. (Although I'm not above trickery. Lima beans in the grilled cheese. Is that wrong?)
Why do parents do all this?
I understand it now that Liam has developed allergies. Allergies to lima beans, brussel sprouts, green beans, winter squash, summer squash, fruit, melons, and in fact anything that isn't meat or starch. If he could I think he'd declare himself allergic to everything that you can't find at Mickey D's or a pizza joint. It's so . . . stereotypical. Except that he won't eat ice cream either. He looks at it and says, "What are you trying to pull?"
(And Charles says, "Don't worry about it. Just give it to me!")
Still, I think the effect of micromanaging someone's eating is worse than the effect of eating too many chicken fingers and not enough cauliflower. Few children I know have developed pellagra or kwashiorkor, but many suffer from power struggles at the table. I remember my old friend "Dan," who could only eat about twelve foods without gagging. To be sure, that level of mental distress resulted from abuse at the table that rose to the level of criminal.
But those I know who had loving parents -- but still had regular mealtime dramas over what they had to have -- also often have limited lists of things they'll eat.* Thing is, those limited lists don't seem to include green stuff! Forcing vegetables into children has the effect you might expect: they come to hate them more than they did before.
And as boring as vegetables inherently are, that's a shame. You really should eat your vegetables.
*Unlike me. My parents didn't care what I ate. And now I'll eat anything from steak tartare to sushi to fried okra. But not boiled okra. That's just gross.