Almost every time I run into a Down syndrome adult, I get discouraged.
We ran into one at Logan's today -- or, rather, into his parents. Sure, he was present, but we talked around him, while he looked at his parents. He could answer simple, direct questions put to him, and his mother kept telling him to talk to us not just to them. He was having trouble with his shoes -- crammed his foot into and and crushed the heel. "Tell them where you work," his mother said.
"Bakery," he said.
"What do you do there?" Marisa asked.
"Work," he said.
He's thirty.
His mother also had an explanation for his trouble focusing on who he was talking with. "They lose skills sometimes, and then they come back -- it comes and goes."
Now, we saw a more functional Down syndrome woman downtown last year. She was at an art show, and sometimes her art was in the show. She could hold a conversation. I'd rather Liam focus on something other than being a starving artist, but if he can do as well as she, my hopes will have been realized.
But usually those hopes take a beating when we see a DS adult. Which to me shows that my image of what Liam will be is, well, not the average. God help him. I want him to be able to advocate for himself. He certainly seems to have an interest in self-advocacy! "Don't change my diaper -- I'm busy playing! Nooooo don't put me in bed! Pick me up! How could you do this to me -- feeding me green beans!" Skills are another matter. And . . . are Down syndrome adults as compliant as they seem because they're trained to be by those with power over them? because it works better? The topic is frightening.
Being noncompliant could be worse, and maybe they're terrors at home. I have the image of them as being compliant, but in some blog recently I read of this exchange:
Friend of mother's: "Down syndrome people certainly do seem to be good at loving and caring."
Mother: "I'll remember that the next time she tries to put the cat in the dryer."
One thing's for sure. I'm ready to see some more functional DS adults. Or have reason to believe things are better with modern technology and Liam will have a stronger future. But I sense something (realism?) creeping up behind me, and I don't like it.
We ran into one at Logan's today -- or, rather, into his parents. Sure, he was present, but we talked around him, while he looked at his parents. He could answer simple, direct questions put to him, and his mother kept telling him to talk to us not just to them. He was having trouble with his shoes -- crammed his foot into and and crushed the heel. "Tell them where you work," his mother said.
"Bakery," he said.
"What do you do there?" Marisa asked.
"Work," he said.
He's thirty.
His mother also had an explanation for his trouble focusing on who he was talking with. "They lose skills sometimes, and then they come back -- it comes and goes."
Now, we saw a more functional Down syndrome woman downtown last year. She was at an art show, and sometimes her art was in the show. She could hold a conversation. I'd rather Liam focus on something other than being a starving artist, but if he can do as well as she, my hopes will have been realized.
But usually those hopes take a beating when we see a DS adult. Which to me shows that my image of what Liam will be is, well, not the average. God help him. I want him to be able to advocate for himself. He certainly seems to have an interest in self-advocacy! "Don't change my diaper -- I'm busy playing! Nooooo don't put me in bed! Pick me up! How could you do this to me -- feeding me green beans!" Skills are another matter. And . . . are Down syndrome adults as compliant as they seem because they're trained to be by those with power over them? because it works better? The topic is frightening.
Being noncompliant could be worse, and maybe they're terrors at home. I have the image of them as being compliant, but in some blog recently I read of this exchange:
Friend of mother's: "Down syndrome people certainly do seem to be good at loving and caring."
Mother: "I'll remember that the next time she tries to put the cat in the dryer."
One thing's for sure. I'm ready to see some more functional DS adults. Or have reason to believe things are better with modern technology and Liam will have a stronger future. But I sense something (realism?) creeping up behind me, and I don't like it.